oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
