Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
