just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
