it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
