Moan for me like Helen Keller
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
