I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
