thus making me awesome and them whores
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
