This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
