You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
