it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
