My room smells like vodka and shame
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
do nipples grow back?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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