His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
