she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
