Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
