We're like a lot better than the average bears
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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