Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
