yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
