just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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