Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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