I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
