no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
