Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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