You made me cry and you don't even care
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
