4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
