that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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