What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
