you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
