I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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