Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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