we have pet lesbian snakes
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
