The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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