If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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