Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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