I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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