Im at strip club and am horny
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
