Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
