Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
