girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Two words: nipple clamps
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