K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
