Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
