I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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