I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
