Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
