I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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