I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
