wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
