that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
