i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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