Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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