That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
