Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
