We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You ruined the universe
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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