did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
