i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
