Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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