My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize