at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
