my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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