just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
