I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
