Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I think I have vodka in my lungs
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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