Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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