when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
