i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i drank out of a bidet.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
