Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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