i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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