bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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