Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
