I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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