so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
