Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
How does it feel to date your dad?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
