What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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